The saga continues...

Okay, so the ghost hunting is complete and I can say that we offcially found jack and shit. No EVP's, no video evidence, no paranormal activity, no nothing. So, the "real life" version of this story is a bust, but have no fear as I still am going to turn this into a screenplay! In the comments of my last post, my goog friend wrecks threw in the idea of the skeptical friend who dies in the end of the 2nd act, and thats a great addition. I also forgot the part about my new-age sister coming ove3r to perform a cleansing, and this really creepy set piece about this old woman dressed in all black walking by our porch one night at midnight (trust me, it was CREEPY). So, I have some writing to do, I'll try to get the first draft up in the next few days.

It's My Birthday (And a start of a great story...maybe?)

So today, July 3rd, is my birthday and marks the begining of my 30th year on this great planet. What am I to take from such an occasiion? Well, I'm no where closer to my goal of writing for a living, so I need to really step it up this year. I need to stop drinking - my body just can't hang anymore. If I have 3 beers, I can count on at least a full-days worth of horrible gas. If I step it up to hard liqour, I can plan on asshole-burnage by 10am the next morning. So yeah, its just not worth the pain anymore. And really, thats about it. I am loving my life, my family is great, and in general things are going well. But enough about my birthday, I know you don't give a shit about that. Lets switch gears to something much cooler - a REAL LIFE story thats brewing right under my nose, and could turn out to be the basis for a screenplay. Let me break it down for you in a matter of "set pieces" of events that have recently happened or will happen, and then see how we can leverage this into some fiction:

Set piece #1 - "The Reveal":
We hired a new cleaning lady, who happens to be super fine and is all into new-age stuff. One day I had a headache and she used her "healing touch" to make it go away, and it actually did - not sure if it was her touch or whatever, but was interesting that it worked. Well, yesterday she pulls me aside and tells me, "You have a pressence in your house. He likes to watch you guys, and I get the impression he is very very negative and bad for this house. I get chills here, and extremely bad vibes". She also told me that when she is in our basement, she gets a sense of fear that she has never experienced before.

Set piece #2 - "The Creepy kid confirmation":
What makes this extra weird is that my older daughter who used to sleep in the basement before we moved her upstairs, used to speak of "the shadow man" who would walk around in the basement at night. She never really said anything more than that, so I need to double check on if it was a "bad" or "good" shadow man, but the fact that she mentioned this years before the cleaning lady really creeps me out. Did I mention I'm a big wuss (who just happens to love horror films and the paranormal).

Set piece #3 - "Friends feel this too?":
To make this more interesting and to freak me out that much more, this cleaning lady is actually the 4th person to mention a pressence in the house, and especially in the basement. 1 friend in particular who used to stay at our house almost every weekend, often told me he was sure there was a ghost in the house, and it freaked him out. The other people are random friends who have told my wife or I at some point they believe there is a pressence in the house.

Set Piece #4 - "Freinds, or Enemies?":
This is true, and I'll spare you the gory details, but the friend mentioned above (who used to stay over all the time) was practically the 5th member of our family. Well, 1 day while my wife and I were getting ready to go out (and the kids were at their grandmas), he snuck into our house and waited in our basement while we were getting dressed/taking showers/etc. Once we had left, he wrote a very very intense and frightnight letter on my wifes laptop, assuming the character of, "The Gentlemen Intruder", and basically telling us that we should be more careful to lock our doors and that he would hate to see anything happen to our children. It was terrifying, and ended our friendship.

Set Piece #5 - "Lesbian Menace":
About 1 week ago there was a banging at our door. "BANG BANG BANG" - it was quite surprising because we never have random visitors - and because it was so loud and hard. When we answered our door there was a short round women standing there - in a plaid shirt and with a full blown mullet. She said "Is Barbara Carr here?" sounding very angry, and pacing on our porch. We told her that we had in fact purchased the home from Ms.Carr about 3 years ago and that as far as we knew, she had moved to Florida. The woman paced for a moment more, then ran off. Strange.

Set Piece #6 - "The Best Birthday Present Ever":
So tonight is my birthday, and an old friend is coming over to help me "investigate" the basement and see what might be going on. We plan to do some EVP work, minor camera work, and maybe a few other things. This ofcourse is going to be AWESOME, and even more awesome if we do in fact get some evidence. If not, at least I'll still be all creeped out and excited.

So, what we have here is a random series of events that all actually tie together nicely and I see some serious potential for a story. We've got the weird new-age lady basically starting it all by telling me about the pressence. We then have a series of flashbacks to a child in the basement, and the "shadow man" lurking in the darkness. We have random friends who confirm (either in flashbacks or not) that they feel it to - maybe one or all of them dying shortly thereafter? We have an extremely close frined (and probably huge role in the story) doing something unimaginable - was it the basement that made him do this, or is he the killer? We have a mysterious lesbian woman appearing at our house asking for the prior owner exactly 1 week before the activity seemed to increase. Why? What did she need? And finally we have some great scenes where the main character (me!) decided to take matters into his own hands and do some investigation. Some sub-plots are even there: How does the child fit into this? Does she know more about the entity then she is letting on? Maybe this goes back very far, and there is a mystery to unravel. I see this going 2 ways, (1) A straight paranormal flick with some red herrings thrown in (the crazy friend, the random lesbian lady) that has to solve some problem that has plauged the house for awhile. Or (2) A slasher style flick where you think its paranormal, but then turns out to be an actual killer preying on the family (but why?). Since these are all (so far) true events, I guess I'll just have to wait and see how it unfolds tonight...

Writing Exercise....

Okay, just a little late, but as promised here is a little writing exercise that I'm going to do and I would love it if you all would give it a try in the comments. Might be fun! So here is the deal: Think of a scene (a short one - just a paragraph or less), write it out. Then marinate on it, and write the same thing but in a different way. Marinate some more, then give it a 3rd try. Make sense? Good. Lets give it a shot, and we can all critique each other in the comments. Here's mine:

Attempt 1:
The forest is quiet, the only sound to be heard is that of a young owl testing it's "hoo's" and "ho's". There is a path through the trees, but its not an easy one to make out, obviously it hasn't seen heavy use in sometime. A young boy (age 8) is seen running through a dark forest - he has a look of terror on his face and is running very fast, but from what?

Attempt 2:
A boy, young and fit but wearing the tattered remains of clothes, runs down a path carved through broken broken branches and worn tall grass. Obviously frightened, he runs at a pace that only a child can, looking back at nothing and everything all at the same time.

Attempt 3:
The sound of his own barefeet against the dead grass and broken branches was loud enough to stir the animals. Loud enough to ring in the young boys ears as he ran. Loud enough, unfortunately, for the badman to follow through the otherwise dead silence of the forest.

Where have I been?

Well - I told y'all that I'm a lazy bastard! Maybe lazy is the wrong word, but ultimately I have a hard time following through with some of my loftier goals. However, this blog was created to force me to move on and therefore I must do it. So, where have I been? Well, more or less I ended up quitting my job and taking a new one over the course of the last month in addition to completely changing/rearranging our house, so needless to say I've been busy with life. Hopefully one day my job will be to write so I don't have to put it off when things come up like over the last month - but that day is not here just yet.

So, where should we pick up? Well, I still need to post the rest of that short story, I could probably do a few more "If I were to write it" segments (Indiana Jones anyone?), and there is a host of other things I can be doing. But for today I'll keep it simple, and along with this update I will do a little writing exercise that I think will be fun for me and anyone willing to participate. I will make another post after lunch explaining the exercise, along with my attempt at it. Welcome back (to me and all the readers), and I'll be back shortly.

If I were to write it...Lost Boys 2

Hello, and welcome to a new segment on this blog called "if I were to write it...". What I will do is take an upcoming movie/book/game/etc (generally a sequel) and discuss how I would have handled it if I were to write it. I can't be the only person in this world who is often surprised by the amount of SHIT coming out of the creative industry. I mean, I know its not easy to make a great film but it can't be that hard to realize when your making an awful one. So, to kick this off, lets start with the soon to be released Lost Boys sequel, "Lost Boys 2: The Tribe".

For starters, if you have not already done so, you MUST check out the trailer for this flick here:



Okay, everyone do their homework? Good. So basically the trailer looks pretty terrible, altho I did love the re-introduction of Edgar Frog of the infamous Frog Brothers. Basically it looks like they are making the same movie with the following changes:

1) Replaced 2 brothers dealing with vampires to a brother and sister dealing with vampires.
2) Replaced the motorcycle gang with a group of surfer dudes.
3) Replaced the insane but fucking cool grandfather with an Aunt
4) Moved to a new city in California

Did I miss anything? So it looks like a sub-par wanna-be Lost Boys that just happens to have one of the frog brothers in it, therefore allowing them to call it Lost Boys 2. So, how would I have handled this movie? A whole hellofa lot differently, and heres my "pitch":

At the end of the first movie we know a few things:
(1) The Frog brothers actually CAN kick ass.
(2) By killing the head vampire, you can cure anyone who has been bitten.
(3) Cory Haim can rock a multi-patch trench coat unlike any other.
(4) Grandpa kicks ass, and seems to know a lot more about vampires then he ever let on.
(5) That no 2 vampires die the same way.

In this sequel, we start at present day (about 20 years after the original) and catch up with our major characters from the first film right off the bat. Sam and Michael (of the first movie) are more than content to forget about the past and pretend it never happened. Michael and Star are happily married, and want nothing to do with vampires or vampire hunting. Sam owns his own comic book shop and provides the Frog Brothers limited intel, but is not willing to offer much more than that, he just wants to live a peaceful life and promised his mother (now dead) that he would never discuss what happened again. The Frog brothers are doing anything they can to get the word out about vampires but are unfortunately falling on deaf ears. Over the last 20 years, the Frog brothers have created a book, called "The Frog Brothers Guide to Defying and Prevailing Over all things Evil...Especially Bloodsuckers!", which contains information on all their vampire hunts. They show this book to anyone who will listen, but unfortunately due to their eclectic ways it comes off as a joke and they are not taken seriously. Not sure what to do, they provide a video of them killing a vampire to a local news channel, but the network turns them into the police and they are now wanted men. On the run from the law and not being taken seriously, they decide to go back to where it all started (for them) and see if they can find proof to convince the world of the threat at hand and finally be understood (in addition to proving their innocence).

Cut to Santa Carla, the same town from the first film, the beach side amusement park is quite worn down, but the town remains a haven for hippies and odd people. New to this town are Richard and David, 2 friends who tried their hand at running a technology company (selling high tech weapons to the government), but ultimately failed. They have decided to take a sabbatical in the town of Santa Carla to help them refocus and to deal with the loss of their business. Their friendship is also on the rocks due to Richard feeling like David sabotaged their company with his stubbornness and flagrant attitude. Their 2nd night in the town they meet a beautiful woman who convinces David to come with her to the beach for some fun. Richard thinks it best they go home, but David decides to go with the girl for some goodtimes. The girl turns out to be a vampire (of course) but before she can kill David the Frog Brothers come to his rescue and dispatch of the evil woman. Unfortunately for David he has been bitten, so they tell him they can help and take him back to the house he and Richard are staying at. What follows is the tale of the Frog Brothers working with Richard and David (and their high-tech weapon know how) to find the vampire leader and kill him before its to late for David and to clear the Frog Brothers name.

What do you think? To me, the core of Lost Boys is really two things. First, its all about a person dealing with their transition into a vampire and how they cope with that. Second, its about some crazy ass characters coming together to fight a common threat. I guess based on the title you could say its a tale of eternal youth through eternal life (ala "the lost boys" from peter pan), but I think what made the first movie work so well was all the crazy characters kicking ass in fun and creative ways. This movie has to capture that spirit, not just replace a gang of motorcycling kids with surfer kids. How would you have handled a lost boys sequel? Let me know in the comments!

My first short: Grave of the Girl

As promised, here is my first short for you all to critique. Looking forward to it. This is just the very beginning, but I wanted to get something up to keep this moving. It's titled "Grave of the Girl", and here it is for your reading pleasure:

Grave of the Girl

Rachel didn't want to be there. In fact, she wanted to be at home watching MTV and eating some of her mom's rice crispy treats that had been made fresh that morning. But, Rachel knew that coming might impress Josh, and at the fragile age of 16, impressing Josh was number one on her list of priorities. It was cold out, and she hated the cold. The ground was wet from the fresh rain that afternoon, and while it provided a sense of calm, it added to the somber tone of the place and made it that much more unbearable. She noticed that on this night, the glow of the moon seemed particularly bright, maybe because it was a full moon, but even so it seemed to shine more than normal. The air was stiff and while everyone else was laughing and having fun, Rachel just wanted to get somewhere inside with a heater. But she endured. Every so often he would speak to her, and this was more than enough to make it worthwhile. Somewhere, in the back of her mind she knew this wasn't her thing but she kept telling herself, "shut up, you'll be fine".

She first heard about it on Friday afternoon, right after that douche bag Mr.Everding's physics class. She always wanted to ask why he had one lazy eye, but "when is the appropriate time to bring that up in class? or even outside of class?" she would often tell herself. As the bell rang and she was on her normal 5 minute jaunt to her locker and then on to AP history, she felt something grab her shoulder from behind. "RACHEL!" screamed Barb, with a look on her face that was a mix of extreme excitment and a retarded child learning to eat by themselves for the first time. "We are IN! They said we can come, I told them we are there for sure because I know you know who I know is going to be there!". The "who" Barb was referring to was none other than Josh Hackerson, the typical "I'm an indie kid with problems" at any given high school in America, and also the object of Rachels current desires. Barb didn't have to use his name, for they more or less talked about either Josh or Craig 90% of their conversations together. Without even knowing what or where they were "in" for, Rachel was already elated. She had kept an ongoing list in her notebook of the last 7 times she had been lucky enough to spend time outside of school with Josh and was always excited to make an update. "Sweet" said Rachel, trying to contain her enthusiasm and seem more relaxed than she felt inside. "When, where, and how much?" Barb looked at her watch, "Fuck! I'm going to miss chemistry. Saturday night, Hampton Cemetery. They go up there an play tag or something - sounds kind of stupid, but screw it, might be fun". And with that, Barb was off and Rachel was left to think about her new weekend plans.

Hampton Cemetery was probably the biggest near Rachels suburb. It wasn't particularly scary and surprisingly didn't have any urban legends associated with it. What it did have was that undeniable draw for the local teens, they couldn't leave it alone. Even with all the measures the owners had taken for security (and there were many), it was just to irresistible for the kids to leave it alone. They would go there for parties, they would go there to scare each other, whatever it was, you could generally plan on finding a group of kids there on any given weekend.

The group of kids on this cold Saturday night just happened to be the group that Rachel and Barb were invited to tag along with. Officer Chris Brown knew all to well that he'd find some kids up there, and at this point in his career, he wasn't even sure if he cared enough anymore to ask them to leave. Tonight, he decided to park his car in the darkness and just watch them for awhile. To remember what it was like when he used to break into the cemetary gorunds with his friends, before meeting his future wife, before having 3 children, and before talking about this goddamn divorce anymore. "God she is such a bitch!" officer Brown thought to himself, "Why does everything have to be a soap opera".

So, how will this work?

Okay - so we got the opening post out of the way, now lets plan out how this is going to work. The way I see it, I will start writing things, all kinds of things, and just post them. That will give you the opportunity to tell me what you think (i.e. - is it good? is it shit?). As we go along, I'll also be updating my trials and tribulations of becoming a screenwriter as they happen. I'm hoping this will be interesting to read, and if not, then we'll figure something out. So, up first I am going to post the beginning of a short story. I think I'll put that up tomorrow for you to start disecting. I will say that not everything I put up will be finished, not everything will be great, but everything will be focused on 1 goal - that of making me write more. How's that sound? Good? Good. If you have any thoughts leave them in the comments section, otherwise I look forward to some feedback on my first short story I post.

So, I want to write. Quit talking about it fucker and get busy then!

Why to write? This is a great question, and one that really does need to be answered. However, before I can answer that, I think it should be addressed as to why this question came up in the first place. More or less, Chronic (my friend) and myself have had visions of writing in some capacity for quite awhile. We want to have our creative voices heard, but as it turns out they are only heard by one another 99% of the time. On top of that, we share a creative vision on many things, so it would only make sense we’d be optimal writing partners. So, after saying “I should write movies” or “I should write a book” for several years, I’ve decided its time to get off my fat ass (yes, I am a large man) and make it happen. My problem is dedication, so if I’m going to do this I need to make sure I am really and truly 100% committed to it. To do that, I decided it makes a lot of sense to write a piece on why I want to write. This is my little love letter to myself, to show myself how witty I am, how great my writing style can be, and more importantly to have it in paper that (1) I am dedicated and (2) I have real reasons for pursuing this. Maybe one day I can put this in a “special edition” of on my books, or some bullshit like that. Maybe not. We’ll see. So, back to the question – why to write? My reasons, as we’ve just read, include wanting to make movies and maybe even some fucking novels – assuming I ever get off my lazy ass. Here are some other reasons, in no particular order. At the moment I think it would be a lot more fun then programming on a computer all day. Maybe I’m wrong, but it sure sounds a lot more fun. Programming is starting to feel stale to me or something, don’t get me wrong, I still dig it, I’m just not “loving” what I do at this point. Second, I think I have a lot to say. Not on some high-end meaningful level, I’m not that fucking proud of myself, but I just mean I have a lot of things to tell people – stories, thoughts, quips, hell I dunno…all kinds of things. Third, there isn’t a lot out there right now that I love to read, and I think that maybe if I write stuff I like I’d want to read it, so maybe there are people out there like me right now. For example, I love the opening scene to a movie I wrote, where this old lady gets the shit kicked out of her (don’t worry, she was an evil demon so its cool), but I just don’t read or see enough stuff like that. Which to me means its time I put it out there.

Okay, we covered the reasons (I thought I had a lot more, but I guess I was wrong…that sucks). So now lets talk logistics. Can I make money being a writer? Well, in my mind I sure as heck can! My thought is this, if I can write movie scripts (for example) I can make money that way. If I write books, that could also be a source of income. If I start a blog, maybe I can be like Perez Hilton and make money from advertisements. However, if I ever become like Perez Hilton someone please kill me, because I would be a piece of shit. Speaking of blogs, what kind of blog do people really want to read right now? Celebrity gossip? Not my thang. Movie news? I think that fat fuck harry has it covered. Maybe just a blog about my process of becoming a writer? Actually that’s not a terrible idea – Okay, I’m going to make a blog about becoming a writer. Done. And this is my first post, how sweet is that! So much for my “putting this in a special edition of my novel” idea, but who was I kidding up there – that is probably not going to happen. So, welcome to my blog about a typical computer nerd becoming a writer, I hope you dig it!