Hello, and welcome to a new segment on this blog called "if I were to write it...". What I will do is take an upcoming movie/book/game/etc (generally a sequel) and discuss how I would have handled it if I were to write it. I can't be the only person in this world who is often surprised by the amount of SHIT coming out of the creative industry. I mean, I know its not easy to make a great film but it can't be that hard to realize when your making an awful one. So, to kick this off, lets start with the soon to be released Lost Boys sequel, "Lost Boys 2: The Tribe".
For starters, if you have not already done so, you MUST check out the trailer for this flick here:
Okay, everyone do their homework? Good. So basically the trailer looks pretty terrible, altho I did love the re-introduction of Edgar Frog of the infamous Frog Brothers. Basically it looks like they are making the same movie with the following changes:
1) Replaced 2 brothers dealing with vampires to a brother and sister dealing with vampires.
2) Replaced the motorcycle gang with a group of surfer dudes.
3) Replaced the insane but fucking cool grandfather with an Aunt
4) Moved to a new city in California
Did I miss anything? So it looks like a sub-par wanna-be Lost Boys that just happens to have one of the frog brothers in it, therefore allowing them to call it Lost Boys 2. So, how would I have handled this movie? A whole hellofa lot differently, and heres my "pitch":
At the end of the first movie we know a few things:
(1) The Frog brothers actually CAN kick ass.
(2) By killing the head vampire, you can cure anyone who has been bitten.
(3) Cory Haim can rock a multi-patch trench coat unlike any other.
(4) Grandpa kicks ass, and seems to know a lot more about vampires then he ever let on.
(5) That no 2 vampires die the same way.
In this sequel, we start at present day (about 20 years after the original) and catch up with our major characters from the first film right off the bat. Sam and Michael (of the first movie) are more than content to forget about the past and pretend it never happened. Michael and Star are happily married, and want nothing to do with vampires or vampire hunting. Sam owns his own comic book shop and provides the Frog Brothers limited intel, but is not willing to offer much more than that, he just wants to live a peaceful life and promised his mother (now dead) that he would never discuss what happened again. The Frog brothers are doing anything they can to get the word out about vampires but are unfortunately falling on deaf ears. Over the last 20 years, the Frog brothers have created a book, called "The Frog Brothers Guide to Defying and Prevailing Over all things Evil...Especially Bloodsuckers!", which contains information on all their vampire hunts. They show this book to anyone who will listen, but unfortunately due to their eclectic ways it comes off as a joke and they are not taken seriously. Not sure what to do, they provide a video of them killing a vampire to a local news channel, but the network turns them into the police and they are now wanted men. On the run from the law and not being taken seriously, they decide to go back to where it all started (for them) and see if they can find proof to convince the world of the threat at hand and finally be understood (in addition to proving their innocence).
Cut to Santa Carla, the same town from the first film, the beach side amusement park is quite worn down, but the town remains a haven for hippies and odd people. New to this town are Richard and David, 2 friends who tried their hand at running a technology company (selling high tech weapons to the government), but ultimately failed. They have decided to take a sabbatical in the town of Santa Carla to help them refocus and to deal with the loss of their business. Their friendship is also on the rocks due to Richard feeling like David sabotaged their company with his stubbornness and flagrant attitude. Their 2nd night in the town they meet a beautiful woman who convinces David to come with her to the beach for some fun. Richard thinks it best they go home, but David decides to go with the girl for some goodtimes. The girl turns out to be a vampire (of course) but before she can kill David the Frog Brothers come to his rescue and dispatch of the evil woman. Unfortunately for David he has been bitten, so they tell him they can help and take him back to the house he and Richard are staying at. What follows is the tale of the Frog Brothers working with Richard and David (and their high-tech weapon know how) to find the vampire leader and kill him before its to late for David and to clear the Frog Brothers name.
What do you think? To me, the core of Lost Boys is really two things. First, its all about a person dealing with their transition into a vampire and how they cope with that. Second, its about some crazy ass characters coming together to fight a common threat. I guess based on the title you could say its a tale of eternal youth through eternal life (ala "the lost boys" from peter pan), but I think what made the first movie work so well was all the crazy characters kicking ass in fun and creative ways. This movie has to capture that spirit, not just replace a gang of motorcycling kids with surfer kids. How would you have handled a lost boys sequel? Let me know in the comments!
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2 comments:
Richard and David... are they lovers? Why do they go to some obscure town together for sabatical? Other than that nitpick.. damn cool idea. Write it! do it!
Richard and David - not lovers in my head, but thats a great point. I was thinking more along the lines of long time best friends who realize they have some problems and think that a sabatical will help them refocus on making a successful business. However, the lover idea is just quirky enough to work in a Lost boys movie I think - shit, have the vamps from the first one seemed to have some serious homosexual attributes.
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